Monogamous Marriage, Christianity, and the Homosexual Dilemma

In the New Testament there are multiple passages where the spiritual relationship between the Lord and the Church is represented by the marriage of the bridegroom with the bride (Matt. 9:15, 22:1-14, 25:1-13, Rev. 19:7,9, 21:2,9-10) and that Jesus only sanctioned monogamous marriage (Matt. 19:3-11). This principle has brought Christianity in conflict with the recent cultural shift that supports homosexual marriages, and with a culture that is generally lax in sexual morality. This is because the majority in the modern world do not distinguish between the lower natural love of sex, and a higher spiritual love of sex. For the love of sex is something that man shares with animals, but a spiritual love of one of the other sex is spiritual that is unique to man. Moreover, the majority do not even know the spiritual reason why humans are born male and female, which is the justification Jesus gave for monogamous marriages. Answers to these questions have been laid out in detail in heavenly revelations in the work Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, which I think was due to Divine foresight on the present dilemma.

It is simply not enough for Christians to quote the Bible to outsiders on this matter, as there has to be a rational justification.  Even Swedenborg acknowledged this when discussing Matt. 19:

"But although the Lord dictated these words out of the Divine law inscribed on marriage, yet, if the understanding cannot support it with some reason of its own, it may even,—by turns to which it is wont, and by sinister interpretations,—get around the Divine law, and bring it into dim ambiguity" (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 332)

This kind of twisting of what Jesus said I have seen even within some Christian churches, with one person stating that Jesus was "just discussing divorce."  Which completely ignores the rationale that Jesus gave, that humans are created male and female, and monogamous marriage fulfills the Divine will. But let us lay out the reasons why monogamous marriages between one man and one woman are spiritual, and other sexual unions are not.

GOD IS LOVE AND TRUTH ITSELF

The first principle is that the Divine is Love and Truth itself, and Love and Truth co-exist in a married pair, similar to a fire and the light that emanates from it.  God descended as Divine Truth, known as the Word, in human form, and love and truth manifest in every human being in the will and understanding.  I discussed this a bit earlier in the blog post The Divine Origin of Marriage Love and Sex, but as this is the foundation on any discussion regarding marriage and sex it bears repeating here, as this is the source of all created things:

"...in each and all things of the universe good is conjoined with truth and truth with good, for this too is a universal truth, closely coherent with the other. The reason why all things in the universe have a relation to good and truth, and that good is conjoined with truth, and truth with good, is that both proceed from the Lord, and proceed from Him as one. The two which proceed from the Lord are love and wisdom, for those are Himself and are therefore from Himself" (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 60)

And this is the reason why marriage love is most holy, and it is the love of all loves, for marriage originates from the union of good and truth:

"The reason why marriage love considered as to its essence is the fundamental love of all the loves of heaven and the church is, that its origin is from the marriage of good and truth, and from that marriage all the loves which make heaven and the church with man proceed. The good of that marriage constitutes love, and the truth of it constitutes wisdom; and when love comes to wisdom or conjoins itself with it, it then becomes love indeed; and when in turn wisdom comes to love or conjoins itself with it, it becomes wisdom indeed. True marriage is nothing else than the conjunction of love and wisdom. A married pair between whom or in whom at the same time this love exists, are an image and form of it" (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 65)

And this is the reason why marriage is a form that represents the union of the Lord with the Church.  The primary origin of marriage love originates from the spiritual influx of love and truth into each person, and not, as many presume, from the natural desire of the other sex. This was summarized in the following points:

"I. That good and truth are the universals of creation, and hence are in all created things; but that they are in created subjects according to the form of each.
II. That there is no solitary good, nor solitary truth, but that everywhere they are conjoined.
III. That there is truth of good, and the good of truth from that,—or truth from good, and the good from that truth; and that in these two there is implanted by creation an inclination to conjoin themselves into one.
IV. That in the subjects of the animal kingdom truth of good, or truth from good is masculine; and the good of truth from that, or good from that truth, is feminine.
V. That from the influx of the marriage of good and truth from the Lord, there is the love of sex, and there is marriage love.
VI. That the love of sex is of the external or natural man; and hence is common to all animals.
VII. But that marriage love is of the internal or spiritual man, and is therefore peculiar to man.
VIII. That with man marriage love is within the love of sex, as a gem in its matrix.
IX. That the love of sex in man is not the origin of marriage love, but is its antecedent; that is to say, it is as the external natural in which the internal spiritual is implanted.
X. That while marriage love is being implanted the love of sex inverts itself and becomes a chaste love of sex.
XI. That the male and female were created to be the very form of the marriage of good and truth.
XII. That they are that form in their inmosts and thence in the things that follow therefrom, according as the interiors of their minds are opened." (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 83)

Point 5 (V) spells out how marriage love originates from the spiritual influx of good and truth:

"V. That from the influx of the marriage of good and truth from the lord, there is the love of sex, and there is marriage love. ...good and truth are the universal of creation, and hence are in all created subjects; that they are in them according to the form of each; and that good and truth proceed from the Lord not as two, but as one. It follows from this that a Universal Marriage Sphere proceeds from the Lord, and pervades the universe from first things to last,—thus from angels even to worms." (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 92)

THE MALE AND FEMALE WERE CREATED TO BE THE VERY FORM OF THE MARRIAGE OF GOOD AND TRUTH

And this is the hidden reason why humans developed into male and female forms; there is no reason for singular cells that can divide by themselves to develop a more complicated method for propagation.  From Divine spiritual influx into the material world, the male was created to be a form of truth, and the female a form of good:

"...a perpetual union of love and wisdom or marriage of good and truth flows in from God, the Creator and Sustainer of the universe; and that created subjects receive this, each according to its form. And that from this marriage or this union the male receives truth of wisdom, and to this the good of love is conjoined by the Lord according to reception; that the reception takes place in the understanding; and that from this fact the male is born to become intellectual... On the other hand, that the female is volitional, but volitional from the intellectual of the man, or what is the same that she is love of the man's wisdom,—because she was formed through his wisdom" (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 90, 91).
"...as there is conjunction of good and truth and it is reciprocal, it follows that there is truth of good, or truth from good, and that there is good of truth, or good from truth. ...truth of good or truth from good is in the male, and is the very masculine, and that good of truth or good from truth is in the female, and is the very feminine; and that the marriage union is between these two." (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 61).
"The male was so created that he might become wisdom, from the love of acquiring wisdom; and the female, so that she might become love of the male from his wisdom and so according to it. It is plain from this that a married pair are very forms and effigies of the marriage of love and wisdom, or of good and truth." (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 66).

This marriage love, by the correspondence of the union of love and truth, is only possible within monogamous marriages between one man and one woman:

"But none come into this love, or can be in it, but those who go to the lord, and love the truths and do the goods of the church. The reason why no others but those who go to the Lord come into this love is that monogamic marriages or marriages of one man with one wife correspond to the marriage of the Lord and the church, and that their origin is the marriage of good and truth" (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 70).

There is an internal conjunction with the Lord through spiritual influx, and mediate conjunction with the Lord through monogamous marriage of one man and one woman:

"That the male and female were created to be the very form of the marriage of good and truth.—The reason is that the male was created to be an understanding of truth, thus truth in form; and the female was created to be a will of good, thus good in form; and to both was imparted from the inmosts an inclination to conjunction into one... The two thus make one form, which emulates the marriage form of good and truth. It is said that it emulates this, because it is not the same but similar to it. For the good that conjoins itself with truth in the man is from the Lord immediately; but the—good of the wife which conjoins itself with truth in the man is from the Lord mediately through the wife. Therefore there are two goods, one internal the other external, which conjoin themselves with truth in the husband; and these effect that the husband is constantly in the understanding of truth and thence in wisdom through true marriage love." (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 100).

MARRIAGE LOVE IS HOLY AS IT IS THE SEMINARY OF MEN AND ANGELS

The three principles of the New Church are love, wisdom, and use, or stated in a philosophical way, end, cause and effect.  One's end is one's intent or purpose from one's love, the cause is the mind on how to accomplish one's purpose, and the effect is the actual doing, which performs use.  All good things lead to what is useful, both spiritually and to society - these uses are the fruits of the spirit (see The Spiritual Meaning of Fruit in Scripture).  

And this is why marriage love between one man and one woman should be guarded against all other loves, for it is (obviously) the origin of the human race, and thence the angelic heaven:

"The reason why such a sphere of the marriage of good and truth goes forth from the Lord is that it is the sphere also of propagation, that is of prolification and fructification; and this is the same as the Divine providence for the conservation of the universe by successive generations." (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 92)

And this is why all heavenly delights are contained in marriage love:

"[Marriage love] expands the inmost things of the mind, and at the same time the inmost things of the body, as the delicious current of its fountain flows through and opens them. It is because of the superior excellence of its use above all other uses that all delights from first to last are gathered into this love. Its use is the propagation of the human race, and of an angelic heaven therefrom; and as this use was the end of ends of the creation, it follows that all the states of blessedness satisfaction delight, gratification and pleasure that could ever be conferred on man by the Lord Creator are gathered into this love." (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 68)

MARRIAGE LOVE AND ONE'S SPIRITUALITY GO HAND IN HAND

Since marriage love between one man and one woman originate from the spiritual influx of good and truth, the closer one follows marriage love the more that person will progress in their spiritual life. It is thus a requirement to those within the Christian church, which is based on the union of good with truth, or of the Lord with the Church. Swedenborg had the following dialogue with an angel:

""...all who regard adulteries as of no account, that is who believe from confirmation that they are not sins, and so do them of set purpose, are evil doers and impious in their heart. For the human conjugiale [marriage love] and religion go together at every step. Every advance, even every step from religion and in religion is also an advance and step from the conjugiale and in the conjugiale that is peculiar to the Christian man." To the question;—"What is this conjugiale?" he said:—"It is the desire of living with one only wife. And it is in the Christian man according to his religion."" (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 80)

Marriage love is a result of growing spiritually in the Lord, away from base natural desires:

"But that marriage love is of the internal or spiritual man; and is therefore peculiar to man.—The reason why marriage love is of the internal or spiritual man is that the more intelligent and wise a man becomes the more he becomes internal or spiritual, and the more perfect becomes the form of his mind, and that form receives marriage love." (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 95)
"Since wisdom is of life and thence of reason, as was said above, the question arises, What is wisdom of life? In a brief summary it is this:—To shun evils because they are hurtful to the soul, hurtful to the state, and hurtful to the body; and to do good deeds because they are of advantage to the soul, to the state, and to the body. This is the wisdom which is meant by wisdom wherewith marriage love allies itself. It allies itself therewith in truth by the fact that it shuns the evil of adultery as a bane to the soul, to the state, and to the body. And as this wisdom springs from spiritual things which are of the church, it follows that marriage love, because it is according to the state of wisdom is according to the state of the church in a man. It is also meant by this, that—as has been stated many times before—in the degree that a man becomes spiritual he is in true marriage love; for man is made spiritual by means of the spiritual things of the church." (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 130)

Marriage love is a special gift given specifically to those who follow the Lord, for it is spiritual in nature:

"The reason why those who love the truths of the church and do its goods come into this love, and can abide in it is, that they and no others are received by the Lord; for they are in conjunction with Him, and thereby can be kept by Him in this love. There are two things which constitute the church and therefore heaven in man, truth of faith and good of life. Truth of faith constitutes the Lord's presence, and good of life according to truths of faith effects conjunction with Him, and thus makes the church and heaven. Truth of faith constitutes the Lord's presence because it is of the nature of light. Spiritual light is nothing else. Good of life effects conjunction because it is of the nature of heat. Spiritual heat is nothing else; for it is love, and good of life is of love. And it is known that all light even that of winter brings presence, and that heat united with light effects conjunction; for fruit and flower gardens appear in all light but do not blossom and bear fruit except when heat conjoins itself with light. From these considerations the conclusion is plain that they who only know the truths of the church cannot be gifted by the Lord with true marriage love, but they who both know its truths and do its goods." (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 72)

LOVE OUTSIDE OF TRUE MARRIAGE LOVE SHOULD BE SHUNNED AS EVIL

Given that marriage love is holy, and originates from the Divine marriage of good and truth, and is the origin of the human race and the angelic heavens, and goes hand in hand with one's spiritual development, obviously all sexual relations outside of marriage love should be shunned:

"The reason why none can be in true marriage love but those who receive it from the Lord,—who are those who go directly to Him and from Him live the life of the church,—is that this love viewed from its origin and its correspondence is celestial, spiritual, holy, pure and clean, beyond every love that exists among the angels of heaven and among the men of the church... and these its attributes cannot be given except to those who are conjoined with the Lord and are consociated by Him with angels of heaven. For these shun loves outside of marriage, which are conjunctions with others than one's own consort, as they would flee from ruin of the soul and from the lakes of hell; and so far as consorts shun such conjunctions even as to the lusts of the will and intentions thence, in so far the love is purified in them, and gradually becomes spiritual,—first while they live on earth, and afterwards in heaven." (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 71)

Swedenborg spoke with angels who said the ancients were given this advice for spiritual living:

"Sons, if you would love God and the neighbor, and if you would be wise, and be happy to eternity, we counsel you to live in single marriage. If you depart from this precept every heavenly joy will flee from you, and with it internal wisdom, and you will be destroyed." (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 77)

Furthermore they said this:

"And we perceive the truth of it,—which is, that in so far as any man loves one only consort he becomes heavenly and internal; and that in so far as any man does not love one only consort he becomes natural and external—and does not love at all, except himself and the imaginations of his own mind, and is foolish and insane. It is on these considerations that we in this heaven are all in single marriage. And because we are so the boundaries of our heaven are all guarded against polygamists, adulterers, and whoremongers. If polygamists enter they are cast out—into the darkness of the north; if adulterers, they are cast out, into the fires of the west; and if whoremongers, they are cast out into the fatuous lights of the south." On hearing this I asked what he meant by the darkness of the north, the fires of the west, and the fatuous lights of the south. He answered:—"The darkness of the north is dullness of mind and ignorance of truth; the fires of the west are loves of evil; and the fatuous lights of the south are falsifications of truth. These are spiritual scortations." (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 77)

From the above, there are three general degrees of sexual lusts that deviate from marriage love:

1. Polygamy
2. Fornication or harlotry
3. Adultery

These degrees progressively deviate from marriage love, from least offense to worst offense. Whereas marriage love leads to a life of heaven, adultery leads to the condemnation of hell.  So where does homosexuality fall in the above three categories?  Swedenborg discusses it briefly in two passages when discussing the sins of Sodom - in one case, he says it is the "evil of the worst adultery" (Heavenly Arcana, n. 2220) and in another it is a "foulness which is contrary to the order of nature" (Heavenly Arcana, n. 2322). Swedenborg does not dwell on the literal act of homosexuality itself, but what it represents in a spiritual sense. Whereas marriage love represents and corresponds to the union of love and truth, homosexuality corresponds to the love of self. It is thus diametrically opposed to the love of God. In multiple passages, Swedenborg describes how no adulterer is able to enter heaven, but are repelled by it due to their opposing and destructive love. To make matters worse, on multiple occasions Swedenborg mentions encountering "sodomite" hells (Spiritual Diary, n. 1977, 2675, 3768, 3796, 5939, 6096; Apocalypse Explained, n. 1006.2 - for further details, see the article What do the Writings say about homosexuality? by Jeremy Simons). Some passages may be just the hells are those who primarily are in the love of self, and not just those who engaged in homosexuality, but as said above, one's sexual life goes hand in hand with one's spirituality.

Thus it is sad to see that there are several Christian denominations and ministers who do not have a proper understanding of how important marriage love is in one's relationship with the Lord.  To make matters worse, one does not have to engage in adultery, one can commit spiritual adultery by consenting to it, and stating that there is no spiritual harm in such behavior (see also The Spiritual Consequences of Adultery and the Origin of Marriage Love):

"Adulteries of the third degree are adulteries of the reason, committed by those who by the understanding confirm that they are not evils of sin" (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 490).
"Adulteries of the fourth degree are adulteries of the will, committed by those who regard them as allowable and pleasurable, and not of so much account as to make it worth the while to consult the understanding about them" (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 492).

The reason for this is all actions are judged by the intent of the will, and consent in itself is an intention of the will.

SOME EXCEPTIONS FOR HOMOSEXUALITY AND PREMARITAL SEX

I give the worst warning first concerning homosexuality. Is there any exception? First, only God judges whether or not one goes to heaven or hell, which is why Jesus said to "judge not" (Matt. 7:1). Many homosexuals say they were "born this way."  There does happen to be a possible exception which is why in a previous post A Christian Revelation on Marriage and Sex I had said that homosexual relationships are at best "civil marriages," but definitely not spiritual ones.  The reason why I said this is twofold: for one, polygamy is permissible for societies that are not Christian who are in the mere natural love of sex (which I did not discuss here). Secondly, Swedenborg did acknowledge that some people happen to be born different, and do not have a capacity to understand or experience marriage love and tend to be asexual in nature. First, Swedenborg explains that "chastity" is not a state of virginity, but a chaste desire for marriage love:

"That chaste, is predicated only of monogamic marriages, or those of one man with one wife. The reason why chaste is predicated only of these marriages is that with them marriage love resides not in the natural man, but penetrates to the spiritual, and opens a way for itself successively to the very spiritual marriage—that of good and truth—which is its origin, and with which it conjoins itself" (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 141).

But some people are born differently and are unable to receive marriage love, whom he calls "eunuchs":

"Chastity cannot be predicated of those born eunuchs; nor of those made eunuchs.—By those born eunuchs are meant especially those with whom from birth the ultimate of the love is wanting. And as in such case the first and mediate are without a foundation on which to subsist, these cannot come forth; or if they come forth such have no care to distinguish between the chaste and the unchaste,—for both are indifferent to them. But among these there are many differences. The case is nearly the same with those made eunuchs as with those born eunuchs. But those made eunuchs, because they are both men and women, cannot but regard marriage love as a fantasy, and its delights as fables. If there is anything of inclination in them it becomes neuter, that is neither chaste nor unchaste" (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 151).

Thus for such people to act against marriage love is not so much of a sin as it is for others. To them, everything about marriage love is irrelevant. Interestingly, after the disciples said few would accept Jesus' command for marriage love, he said it is not for everyone, and that some were born as eunuchs (Matt. 19). However we would have to admit here that the term "eunuch" is typically used for those who do not engage in any sexual activity.

If we look at some science here, there is evidence of genetic abnormalities which can affect one's capacity to receive and accept marriage love (see Klinefelter Syndrome and Study of gay brothers may confirm X chromosome link to homosexuality).  Swedenborg does discuss evils that are inherited, and we are not judged for inherited evils, but for evils that are done by choice:

"No one ever suffers punishment in the other life on account of hereditary evil, because it is not his, and thus he is not to blame for being of this nature; but he suffers for actual evil, which is his own, and thus also for as much as he has appropriated to himself of hereditary evil by actual life" (Heavenly Arcana, n. 2308)

However it has been called into doubt that homosexuality is genetic - it may be at best a tendency to account for some, but not all cases. We should not use genetics as an excuse for free choices we have made. Others have found links between homosexual behavior and how they grew up as a child:

"A number of studies have found that homosexuality is related to poor parental relationships, certain types of parents, a history of general frustration in interpersonal relationships with persons of the opposite sex, negative early heterosexual experiences, and poor identification with the same sexed parent (often based on covert expression of the parent's superego defects)...  Probably the most famous research which demolished the long-stranding belief that homosexuality was biological was published by Dr. Irving Bieber in 1962. Dr. Bieber and his researchers cited the case histories of 106 homosexuals who were treated by the Society of Medical Psychoanalysts. They found that a remarkable proportion of them had been reared by mothers who were over protective throughout their childhoods. The mothers of these homosexuals regarded their children as their "pride and joy"-to be protected from the hazards of growing up. According to this research, the mother jealously protected her boy from any girl who might show an interest in him. She often catered to his every whim and smothered him with affection, openly preferring him to her husband. Some of this attention had obvious sexual overtones, even to the extent of having him sleep in her bedroom until after he reached adolescence. In these cases, the son evidently unconsciously replaced the husband as a love object. Importantly, though, this type of mother and a father who is cold and aloof are both necessary. If a son of an overprotective mother has a warm, affectionate father who sets a good role example and the son can look up to him, homosexuality will not develop, according to Bieber." (from The Genetic Basis of Homosexuality)

Implied in the above study is lack of fatherly love, and early suppression of one's sexual desire.  On the latter point, Swedenborg does warn that suppression of sexual desire can be perverted into homosexual activity.  To guard against this, in such men where the sex drive is strong and there is a long delay before marriage, sexual activity before marriage may be a necessity:

"That with some men the love of sex cannot without harm be totally withheld from going forth in fornication.—There is no need to recount the injuries which excessive restraint of the love of sex may cause and effect with those who from superabundance suffer from intense venereal excitement. Hence are the earliest beginnings with them of certain diseases of the body and disorders of mind,—to say nothing of unknown evils, not to be named. It is different with those whose love of sex is so moderate that they are able to resist the urgings of its longing desire." (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 450)

By "unknown evils, not to be named" Swedenborg is talking about homosexual activity, as it was commonly called by that euphemistic phrase in his day (see the article What do the Writings say about homosexuality? by Jeremy Simons, to show evidence for this). And then there is this passage:

"That with those who for various causes cannot yet enter into marriage, and on account of immoderate desire cannot control their lusts, it is possible that this desire for marriage may be preserved if the wandering love of sex be strictly confined to one mistress.—That immoderate and inordinate lust cannot be prevented by those who are salacious, reason sees and experience teaches. In order then that the immoderation and inordinacy may be curbed, and be brought to some moderation and rule, by those who are afflicted with raging heat and cannot for many reasons anticipate and hasten marriage—there seems no other refuge and as it were asylum than to take a paramour, called in French a maitresse. ...thereby inordinate promiscuous fornications are curbed, and limited, and a state of more restraint induced which is less alien to the life of marriage love... Likewise adulteries are thereby guarded against, which are whoredoms with wives; and ravishments, which are violations of virgins,—not to speak of criminal acts which are not to be named." (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 459)

Again, suppressed sexual desire may find a perverted outlet in homosexual activity. The advice given in Swedenborg's work is a bit more broad and practical, and not so restricted as it may tend to be in other Christian literature. In this case, for some having a mistress before marriage is the lesser of evils. Swedenborg explains that total restraint on the sex drive is unnatural, and this has led to the crisis in the Catholic church where priests who have taken a vow of celibacy have sexually abused children. Such celibacy was never commanded, and Swedenborg was shown that those who prefer celibacy do not reach the highest state of happiness in heaven but dwell in a separate region at the sides of heaven:

"The reason why the unmarried are at the side of heaven is, that the sphere of perpetual celibacy greatly disturbs the sphere of marriage love, which is the very sphere of heaven. The sphere of marriage love is the very sphere of heaven because it descends from the heavenly marriage of the Lord and the church."  (Heaven and Hell, n. 54.5)

And in another passage, there is a warning of completely suppressing sexual desire in taking a vow of celibacy:

"Chastity cannot be predicated of those who have abjured marriages by a vow of perpetual celibacy, unless there is and abides in them a love of true marriage life.—Chastity cannot be predicated of these for the reason that after the vow of perpetual celibacy marriage love is driven out,—of which alone nevertheless chastity is predicable. And because an inclination to the sex is yet inherent, from creation and hence by birth; and when this is restrained and repressed it cannot be but that the inclination will break forth in heat, and with some in a ferment, which as it rises up from the body into the spirit infests, and with some befouls it; and it may be that the spirit thence befouled will befoul also the things of religion" (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 155)

SUMMARY CONCLUSIONS

I have covered a lot of ground, and to every rule there is an exception, but generally one can tell how true a church is to Christianity and the Lord in how it values and protects monogamous marriage between one man and one woman. There are valid reasons for divorce, which I have not covered here. And to be fairly balanced, Swedenborg does talk about unhealthy "marriages of hell" where one partner tries to have dominion over the other. But homosexuality, at best, can only be permitted as a civil marriage, and is by no means a spiritual one. Contained within that activity is the threat of adultery against marriage love, the love between the Lord and the church, one's spiritual growth, and going against the Divine will of propagating the human race and thus the angelic heavens. And while there may be evidence of genetic tendencies, one should not discount one's free will to make a choice, and one should examine the possible psychological origins, especially the unnatural suppression of sexual desire.

There are many opinions on these matters, but Christians should prefer to follow the commandment of Jesus on this matter, and what has been revealed in heavenly revelations. I have provided here the spiritual rationale for what Jesus commanded. Is a cultural, experimental and unproven tradition more important? Jesus would ask us, "Why do you break the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition?" (Matt. 15:3). And if so, He would then say, "for the sake of your tradition you have made void the Word of God" (Matt. 15:6). A servant cannot serve two masters. For those who have committed adultery, there is a way back, but only through repentance:

"I have been instructed by angels that when any one commits adultery on earth, heaven is then immediately closed to him, and he afterward lives only in worldly and corporeal things; and although he then hears of the things of love and faith, they still do not penetrate to his interiors; and what he says about them himself does not come from his interiors, but only from the memory and the mouth, being called forth by pride or the love of gain; for his interiors are closed up, and cannot be opened but by serious repentance." (Heavenly Arcana, n. 2750)

A Christian Revelation on Marriage and Sex

One fundamental truth of Christianity is the sacredness of marriage between husband and wife. Jesus affirms that it is only lawful for a man to join in permanent union with his wife (Matt. 19:4-6), and that any union outside of marriage is against God's law. Christianity is based on the sacredness of marriage, and a new Divine revelation has been given that affirms this.

When it comes to marriage and sexual relations, they are to be distinguished according to spiritual degrees which in general correspond to one's intent or purpose in regards to love:

1. Spiritual marriages are between one man and one woman only which originate from a Divine influx between God and mankind.
2. Natural marriages are polygamous given by permission to those who are in ignorance of spiritual marriages.
3. Lustful relations are all other sexual relations which cause harm and profane what is spiritual.

Natural and lustful relations devolve into a love and self and pleasure. Spiritual marriage tends toward of love of another more than oneself and thus towards a love of God. Without understanding spiritual degrees, as most do not, one will devolve sexual relations into the lowest third category and not see any distinction between what is good and evil as the only criteria is self pleasure. Those who are in the highest spiritual degree will be seen by them as "intolerant" due to their lack of knowledge because they are in effect in opposite degrees to each other. All are born natural into a love of sex in general, but hidden within this love is a spiritual love of one of the sex. One is introduced to this spiritual love only through a love of the One God in Jesus Christ.

First let's discuss what is mentioned in the Bible in regards to marriage, how the Christian advent restored God's original law, and then finally discuss what has been revealed as to why marriage is a holy and sacred contract.

BIBLICAL COMMANDS AND LAWS OF PERMISSION

The Jewish laws were representative and symbolic, and were abrogated when they were fulfilled by the coming of Jesus Christ. Also many laws that were given by way of permission, adapted to those who were incapable of the higher good:

"It is to be known that very many things which were commanded by Jehovah or the Lord, in the internal sense do not signify that they were commanded, but that they were permitted." (Heavenly Arcana, n. 6914.5)

Not everyone will accept laws concerning marriage. Thus when Jesus spoke of marriage, he said it was not going to be received by everyone:

"Not everyone can accept this saying, but only those it has been given to." (Matt. 19:11)

Among the 10 commandments, the seventh forbids adultery. The 10 commandments tend to begin with what "not to do" as one must withdraw from evil before good can be implanted, and here the prohibition against adultery is to protect marriage. Adultery is one of the legitimate reasons for divorce as it breaks the marriage contract (Jer. 3:8).

Jesus says something else in regards to divorce: the law which permits divorce (Deut. 24:1-3) was given because of the evilness of the Israelites (Matt. 19:7-9). That this was given by way of permission is indicated by  God's original command as exemplified by the story of Adam and Eve (Gen. 2:24), by the law that a priest should not marry a divorced woman (Lev. 21:7,14), and that marriage should lead to godly offspring and divorce due to hate is a departure from God (Mal. 2:15-16). The implication here is that inasmuch one withdraws from God in doing evil one withdraws from the marriage contract, and the second implication is that due to evil, laws of permission are given to limit the evil and protect what is good in marriage.

Just as the Mosaic law permitted divorce it also permitted polygamy (Ex. 21:10). Polygamy is similar to divorce: it was allowed by means of permission because of evil tendencies and many would not accept monogamous marriage. That this was not the original command, but rather a law of permission, is indicated by these passages:

1. A king should not "acquire many wives" as his heart will turn away from God (Deut. 17:17).
2. In a polygamous relationship one wife will tend to be loved more than another. The Mosaic law guards against this by ensuring the inheritance rights of children (Deut. 21:15-17).
3. Jesus said it was Moses who permitted them to divorce their wives (Matt. 19:8), indicating polygamy like divorce was given by permission.

Laws of polygamy are for those who are natural and ignorant in spiritual matters. Animals are born with innate instinctual knowledge, but man is born into no knowledge and must be taught in spiritual matters. Thus one who is ignorant and regards marriage as no more than the love of sex and enters into a polygamous relationship cannot be judged to be evil (see Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 350). Thus it is allowed in Islam, for those who are ignorant in the identity of Jesus Christ. Muslims are generally kept in ignorance in regards to what the Bible teaches.

Beyond marriage after divorce, and polygamy, there is no other marriage contract given as permissible. Polygamy is not permitted to those who have entered a spiritual marriage contract, and as the Jews were a representative church and not a spiritual one it was permitted for them. The original command was for one man to marry one wife, to be one flesh (Gen. 2:24); other sexual unions that break this union are to be avoided and shunned as evil (examples of forbidden unions are given in Ex. 20:14, Lev. 18:8-23, 20:10-21, Deut. 27:20-23). Should one engage in sex before marriage, if consensual it should be confirmed in marriage (Ex. 22:16).

MARRIAGE CORRESPONDS TO ONE'S SPIRITUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD

That monogamous marriages are sacred is declared in the last book of the Old Testament:

Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? (Mal. 2:15)

Earthly marriages between husband and wife correspond to one's spiritual relationship with God. A marriage of one husband and one wife corresponds to the worship of One God, and this is constantly emphasized in scripture as idolatry and worship of multiple gods is known as spiritual fornication and adultery.  A departure from One God is declared to be spiritual fornication and adultery in Isa. 1:21, Jer. 3:1-8, Eze. 16:32, 23:37, and in another case those who depart from One God will tend to engage in fornication and adultery (Hos. 4:13-14).

That spiritual adultery and marriage adultery correspond to each other can be seen in the the first and second tablets of the 10 commandments: the first 4 commands of the first tablet regard one's relationship with God and the second tablet of the latter 6 commands regard one's relationship with others. The first commandment declaring that there is One God corresponds to the fifth commandment of honoring one's father and mother, as in the spiritual sense a father and mother signifies God and the church. The second commandment which forbids idolatry or worship of multiple gods corresponds to the seventh commandment which forbids adultery.

In the Christian revelation, it is clearly stated that the marriage of one husband and one wife corresponds to the relationship between Jesus as the bridegroom and the church as the bride. Thus the disciples are called children of the bridechamber (Matt. 9:15), the kingdom of heaven is declared to be similar to a wedding banquet (Matt. 22:2-9) and of virgins meeting the bridegroom (Matt. 25:1-13) and when the Lord comes it is declared to the marriage of the Lamb of God (Rev. 19:7-9).

But why is this so? There is a rational reason behind it, but it would take a heavenly revelation to indicate why earthly marriages are sacred and correspond to the relationship between the Lord and His people.

A DIVINE REVELATION CONCERNING MARRIAGE

In the 18th century Emanuel Swedenborg received many revelations concerning Christianity, mainly concerning that Jesus Christ is the One God of the universe, that we should live by His commandments, that there is life after death, and indicating how and why books in the Bible are Divinely inspired. In all things, the Divine One is a union of Love and Truth, and this flows in as marriage love into the male and female forms of the human race. Anything that opposes this union of Love and Truth in marriage is opposed to God's will. Marriage love contains within it the highest heavenly love that can be experienced on earth, and this is a gift to those who desire and ask it from the Lord. Swedenborg's second to last published work was devoted to this one subject only, entitled Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, which contains accounts of his interactions with angels in the heavenly world on this one subject.

All things Divine are related to the marriage or union of Love and Truth. Love is one's purpose or intent, Truth or Wisdom is the thought in fulfilling one's purpose, and when joined together it manifests in Use or Usefulness, otherwise known in scripture as good works. Marriage love is from Divine influx, thus true marriage love is only possible in couples who live according to God's commandments and trust in the Lord.  Love and wisdom flow into the humans according to the following manner:

"the truth of good or truth from good is the masculine, and the good of truth or good from truth is the feminine" (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 88).

Good must be in conjunction with truth and truth must be in conjunction with its good; separate from each other they cease to exist. This is the spiritual origin of marriage love in the male and female forms of the human race. Males are born into a form of intellect and intelligence:

"a perpetual union of love and wisdom or marriage of good and truth flows in from God, the Creator and Sustainer of the universe; and that created subjects receive this, each according to its form. And that from this marriage or this union the male receives truth of wisdom, and to this the good of love is conjoined by the Lord according to reception; that the reception takes place in the understanding; and that from this fact the male is born to become intellectual." (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 90).

Females, however, are born to be volitional and to be in affection for the intellect, and as love seeks its truth, and truth seeks its love, this leads to marriage love and union between a man and a woman:

"the male was created to be an understanding of truth, thus truth in form; and the female was created to be a will of good, thus good in form; and to both was imparted from the inmosts an inclination to conjunction into one" (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 100)

Love and truth flow into living forms in the form of the will and understanding; when the will and understanding act as one that leads to useful activity.  In females there is a focus on the volition and in males there is a focus on the understanding. Divine influx causes the desire for each to seek their mate and be one, which is first a union of mind and afterwards a union of body. When this happens between a single pair in true marriage love, the love grows to eternity, and this is a spiritual union that is the sacred union within the Christian revelation, and among those who are wiser than others.

One rather interesting point - the Divine influx of marriage love flows into the female only and through the female into the male sex. This is one of the hidden abilities that women have over men, and it only became known to Swedenborg through heavenly revelation:

"That love and thence conjunction is inspired into the man by the wife, is at this day concealed from men, yea, is universally denied by them. The reason is that wives persuade that only the men love and they themselves receive; or that the men are loves and they obediences. And they rejoice in heart when men believe so...  The reason why the inspiration and insinuation of love is from the wives into men is that with men there is nothing of marriage love, nor even of love of the sex, but only with wives and women. That this is so has been shown me to the life in the spiritual world." (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 161)

Swedenborg observed that there was a hidden sphere or aura that emanates from females, whereby the love of sex and marriage was insinuated into their husbands. He explains why this is so, albeit briefly since much of the knowledge would be misunderstood:

"That the masculine is an understanding form and the feminine a will form, and an understanding form cannot of itself grow warm with marriage heat, but from the conjunctive heat of one in whom it is implanted by creation. Just so it cannot receive that love except through the will form of a female adjoined to itself, because this also is a form of love." (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 223)

As a corollary of this, since women are direct recipients of marriage love, as a general rule (with exceptions) it is more harmful to them than for males to engage in sexual promiscuity. Fornication and adultery are opposite to marriage love, and destroy it, albeit the latter more so than the former. On this subject see The Spiritual Consequences of Adultery and the Origin of Marriage Love. Other forms of sexual unions can be classified as purely natural, if the person is lacking in spiritual knowledge. But one should turn away from illicit sexual unions:

"[Marriage love] viewed from its origin and its correspondence is celestial, spiritual, holy, pure and clean, beyond every love that exists among the angels of heaven and among the men of the church... and these its attributes cannot be given except to those who are conjoined with the Lord and are consociated by Him with angels of heaven. For these shun loves outside of marriage, which are conjunctions with others than one's own consort, as they would flee from ruin of the soul and from the lakes of hell; and so far as consorts shun such conjunctions even as to the lusts of the will and intentions thence, in so far the love is purified in them, and gradually becomes spiritual,—first while they live on earth, and afterwards in heaven." (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 71)

WHY TRUE CHRISTIANITY SHOULD DEFEND MARRIAGE

There is a general lack of understanding as to why true Christianity should defend traditional marriage, especially in this day and age. Swedenborg acknowledges that there is a lack in understanding of how marriage is related to the church, and thus those outside the church will take hold the opinion that such a view is intolerant:

"The marriage of the Lord and the Church and the correspondence of it are treated of here because without knowledge and understanding of this one can scarcely apprehend that marriage love in its origin is holy, spiritual, and heavenly, and that it is from the Lord. It is indeed said by some in the church that marriages have a relation to the marriage of the Lord with the church, but what the relation is is not known." (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 223)

True Christianity and marriage go hand in hand, which is indicated by the fact that the Lord is called the bridegroom and the church is called the bride. Another similar correspondence is God is known as Father (Isa. 9:6, John 10:30, 12:44-45, 14:7-9), and the church is known as the Mother (Hos. 2:2,5, Ez. 16:45, 19:10, Isa. 50:1). From this correspondence, those who follow God's commandments and live by them are called His children throughout scripture. The reason for this is that goods and truths are spawned as children by conjunction of the Lord with the church:

"the spiritual offspring which are born of the marriage of the Lord with the Church are truths,—from which come understanding, perception, and all thought; and goods,—from which are love, charity, and all affection.—That goods and truths are the spiritual offspring born of the Lord by the Church, is because the Lord is good itself and truth itself, and these in Him are not two but one; and nothing can proceed from Him but what is in Him, and is Himself. That the marriage of good and truth proceeds from the Lord and flows into men, and is received according to the state of mind and life of those who are of the church" (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 121)

The Word of scripture itself is a marriage of good and truth:

"the Word is the perfect marriage of good and truth; and because it is from the Lord, and what is from Him is in truth Himself, it results that when a man reads the Word and takes truth therefrom the Lord adjoins good." (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 128)

As marriage originated from the union of good and truth, the more wise one is, the more one acknowledges and lives a life according to marriage love.  With man there are three degrees of truth:

1. Truth by knowledge, or what is known from the memory (experience, skill, from the five senses)
2. Truth by reason, what is learned by the understanding (civil level, what is applicable to use in the world)
3. Truth by wisdom, which is in regards to life in shunning evil and doing good (spiritual level)

Each of the the three degrees correspond to different levels of the mind. The highest is the spiritual, though which one has conjunction with the Divine. Wisdom, which is what is applicable to life, or one's spirituality, can also be measured in how one regards marriage love:

"Since wisdom is of life and thence of reason, as was said above, the question arises, What is wisdom of life? In a brief summary it is this:—To shun evils because they are hurtful to the soul, hurtful to the state, and hurtful to the body; and to do good deeds because they are of advantage to the soul, to the state, and to the body. This is the wisdom which is meant by wisdom wherewith marriage love allies itself. It allies itself therewith in truth by the fact that it shuns the evil of adultery as a bane to the soul, to the state, and to the body. And as this wisdom springs from spiritual things which are of the church, it follows that marriage love, because it is according to the state of wisdom is according to the state of the church in a man. It is also meant by this, that—as has been stated many times before—in the degree that a man becomes spiritual he is in true marriage love; for man is made spiritual by means of the spiritual things of the church." (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 130)

And to those who have marriage love with their end in view, a soulmate is given by the Lord, whether in this life or in the next, for which see The Truth of Eternal Soul Mates and Twin Flames.

"marriage love is celestial spiritual and holy, because it corresponds to the celestial spiritual and holy marriage of the Lord and the church. This correspondence moreover follows from the origin of marriage love from the marriage of good and truth... because the marriage of good and truth is the church in man; for the marriage of good and truth is the same as the marriage of charity and faith, since good is of charity and truth is of faith. That this marriage constitutes the church cannot but be acknowledged, for it is a universal truth, and every universal truth is acknowledged as soon as it is heard—which comes of influx from the Lord and at the same time from the confirmation of heaven. Now, as the church is the Lord's, because from the Lord, and as marriage love corresponds to the marriage of the Lord and the church, it follows that this love is from the Lord." (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 62)

"[Marriage love] is also the fundamental love of all loves, celestial, spiritual, and therefore natural. The reason why marriage love considered as to its essence is the fundamental love of all the loves of heaven and the church is, that its origin is from the marriage of good and truth, and from that marriage all the loves which make heaven and the church with man proceed." (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 65)

The Spiritual Consequences of Adultery and the Origin of Marriage Love

From a spiritual standpoint, just exactly how bad is the sin of adultery?  Considering the free promiscuous culture these days, it is important to note here that the sin of adultery has some very bad spiritual consequences.  It is so important, that among the works that Swedenborg wrote there is one dedicated to discussing the topic of marriage - Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love.  Swedenborg had 27 years of visions of heaven and hell, and saw many, many lost souls due to the sin of adultery.

In general, a life of marriage tends to lead towards heaven, but a life of adultery leads to hell.  However, there are certain scenarios where the issue is not quite so black and white, and one should not jump to condemnation.  In fact, Swedenborg is quite rational in his viewpoints on sex and marriage, and provides advice that many religious leaders cannot.  And this advice he obtained in extensive conversations with angelic spirits, who were in the enjoyment of marriage love to eternity.

There have been discussions with the recent hack of a web site that promotes having an illicit affair, promoting the idea that "having an affair can help strengthen a marriage."  Nothing can be further from the truth.  And for consequences, people seem to only be interested in discussing the financial impact. So, from visions of heaven and hell, let's discuss the consequences of committing adultery, and why those who have no spirituality would regard it of no account.

ALL ACTIONS ARE JUDGED BY THEIR INTENT, AND ONE'S SPIRITUAL KNOWLEDGE

First, there are two general "spiritual laws" by which one's actions are judged:

1.  One's intent in committing the action, and
2.  One's knowledge of truth or spiritual awareness.

So let's first discuss intent.  In civil law, intent is important.  Intent governs the distinction between murder and manslaughter - was it premeditated?  As intent governs punishment in civil law, so intent governs punishment in the spiritual world.  For one's intent is governed by one's love, and one's love determines one's eternal state in the afterlife.  While in the material world people often have a habit of covering up their intent with an external facade and deception, this is not possible in the spiritual world.  All thoughts are laid bare, and shown in the light.  The evil, who seek to hide what they have done, of themselves shun God's light and seek the darkness.  In the afterlife, one's thoughts and desires becomes one's reality. But actions are governed by one's intent:

"It is to be known that the end is what determines the character of all the deeds of a man. If his end or intention is to do good for the sake of reputation, or to procure honors or gain, then the good which he does is not good, because it is done for the sake of himself, and thus also from himself. But if his end is to do good for the sake of a fellow citizen, or of his country, or of the church, thus for the sake of the neighbor, then the good which a man does is good, for it is done for the sake of good itself, which in a general sense is the real neighbor (n. 5025, 6706, 6711, 6712, 8123); and thus also it is done for the sake of the Lord, for such good is not from man, but from the Lord, and what is from the Lord is the Lord's...  From these things it is plain what it is to do good for the sake of self or the world, and what it is to do good for the sake of the Lord or the neighbor, and what the difference is between them — a difference as great as between two opposites, thus as great as between heaven and hell. Moreover they who do good for the sake of the neighbor or the Lord are in heaven; but they who do good for the sake of self and the world are in hell." (Heavenly Arcana, n. 9210.1, 3)

So, discerning the moral nature of an action is governed by intent, and while we can see only the external actions, determining another person's intent is not always known to us.  Thus while someone should not jump to conclusions about someone's intent, it is a good spiritual exercise to self examine one's own intents, purpose, or end:

"If any one desires to know the ends in himself, let him attend only to the enjoyment which he perceives in himself from the praise and glory of self, and to the enjoyment which he perceives from use separate from self; if he perceives this latter enjoyment, he is then in genuine affection. He should also attend to the various states in which he is, for states themselves very much vary the perception. These things man may explore in himself, but in others he cannot, for the ends of every one's affection are known to the Lord alone. Thus the Lord said: Judge not that ye be not judged; condemn not, that ye be not condemned (Luke vi. 37); for a thousand persons may appear to be in like affection as to truth and good, and yet every one is in an affection unlike as to origin, that is, as to end." (Heavenly Arcana, n. 3796.3)

The other factor to consider is the nature of one's knowledge, and one's spiritual knowledge.  Knowing and not knowing the other partner was married are two completely different matters.  Also, one's knowledge of spiritual matters governs how the action is to be judged:

"They who are without the church are in ignorance of truth and good, and those who are in ignorance may be in a kind of innocence while speaking and acting somewhat contrary to the truths and goods of faith; for they may act from a certain zeal for the worship with which they have been imbued from infancy and which they therefore believe to be true and good." (Heavenly Arcana, n. 593)

I give a general guideline here, because it is impossible to discuss every possible situation of marriage and adultery.  Everyone's situation is slightly different.

THE SPIRITUAL LEVELS OF SEXUAL MATURITY

There are two main spiritual levels of sexual maturity, and one's level will determine one's view of this matter.  They are:

1.  The love of sex, and of the other sex in general.  This is the natural love of sex.
2.  The love of one of the other sex.  This is the spiritual love of sex.

All begin in the natural love, or external love of sex.  And this can be the way love is at the beginning of a relationship.  But if the love grows spiritually, it grows into a deeper spiritual love of one of the sex.  The spiritual love of sex is hidden within the natural love of sex.  And hidden within the spiritual love of sex, are deeper levels of love - the love of heaven, the love of God.

Many, who only look at the natural desire aspect of sex, do not ever reach level 2.  If level 2 gets shut off, they can tend to develop a promiscuous sexual lifestyle.  If one remains at level 1, one may have a tendency to commit sins of fornication, which are light.  Those who are polygamists are also at level 1.  Those who remain at this level do not see the distinction between adultery, prostitution, and marriage love, and consider marriage perhaps only distinct from adultery as a matter of civil law. In many western countries this distinction has disappeared in civil law.

If one reaches level 2, and comes into a commitment of to love one of the sex, and then reverts back to level 1 - this is the sin of adultery.  One has not only betrayed their partner, but they have committed an act of profanation against that which is holy.  For hidden within marriage love is the highest love of the universe, and marriage love is the physical manifestation of it.  It is holy, for within marriage love is the generation of the entire human race, and from the human race angels are born which populate the heavenly worlds.

THE SPIRITUAL ORIGIN OF MARRIAGE LOVE AND SEX

The desire for the other sex is actually spiritual in origin.  This is one of the big surprises in the revelations given to Emanuel Swedenborg: they explain why humans are divided between male and female. I discussed this a bit before in previous posts: The Divine Origin of Marriage Love and Sex and The Truth of Eternal Soul Mates and Twin Flames.

There are two aspects to the Divine: Divine Love, and Divine Truth.  All things in the universe are a manifestation of the union between love and truth.  This spiritual union between love and truth is the true origin of marriage love, but this is hidden from many. Humans are a microcosm of the universe, and there are two aspects to every human: the will and the understanding.  The will is in the act of doing, and the understanding is the thought of the action.  The Divine Love flows into our will, and the Divine truth flows into our understanding.

Swedenborg explains this in detail in Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love.  He begins as follows:

"There are internal and external origins of marriage love; and the internal are many. The external likewise are many. But the inmost or universal origin of all is one. That this is the marriage of good and truth is to be shown in what now follows. That no one has hitherto deduced the origin of that love from thence is because it has been unknown that there is any union between good and truth. And the reason why this has been unknown is that good does not like truth appear in the light of the understanding; and so knowledge of it conceals itself, and it has eluded investigation. And as from this cause good is among the things unknown, no one could suspect any marriage between it and truth." (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 83) 

Just as good, or the will, hides itself from the understanding, so women never explain why they behave in certain ways to men. Swedenborg also exposes the secret ways women control men.

Males have a tendency to be rational and intellectual.  Their physical form is an aspect of Divine truth. Females have a tendency to be volitional, and in the affection of the intellect, and are thus forms of Divine love.  As love and truth are always constantly desiring to become one, this is the spiritual origin of marriage love between a man and a woman.  Marriage love is holy, because in the human microcosm it is a representation of the covenant relationship between the Lord and His Church, and with all humanity.  The Lord is the husband and master, the Church is the bride of Christ.

This is Divine order, and adultery goes against this Divine order. It is severely punished in the afterlife.  As it is a representation of the relationship between the Lord and the Church, it is especially forbidden in Christianity.  One can measure the decline in spirituality by measuring how distant one has moved away from marriage love, to the love of adultery.  The more one shuns adultery, the closer one moves toward marriage, and vice versa.

THE SPIRITUAL VISIONS OF THE HELLS OF ADULTERERS

The reality is humans can be good or evil, and in the afterlife there are separate places for both.  Everyone, in a sense, creates their own reality in the afterlife - it is a reflection of one's desires and thoughts.  In hell, there is one law: those who are in evil are in the punishment of their evil.  These punishments continue until they desist.  The punishments are designed to make them from falling into a worse state. In heaven are those who are in the enjoyment of love towards others, and love towards God.  Those who are in hell are in utter hatred towards those in heaven, and the hell of adulterers are particularly severe.  For those who have been exposed as adulterers, its not going to make them feel particularly any better.  If the hack felt like a stone, this is going to feel like a crushing boulder. But better to correct it now, then to be too late.

One man, who regarded adulteries as nothing, began to approach heaven in the afterlife, and was rejected:

"One was admitted to the first threshold of heaven, because he strongly desired it, who in the life of the body made light of adulteries. As soon as he came he began to feel distressed, and to be sensible of his own stench, like that of a dead carcase, until he could not bear it. It seemed to him that if he went further he would perish. He was therefore cast down thence to the lower earth, angry that when he came to but the first threshold of heaven he should be in such torment, because he came into a sphere opposed to adulteries. He is among the unhappy." (Heavenly Arcana, n. 539)

Here is a particularly bad description of the hell of those who seduce married wives, how they have no conscience:

"Those who ensnare by pretended regard for marriage love and love for children, so deporting themselves that the husband shall have no suspicion but that his guests are chaste, guileless, and friendly, and under such and various other pretences the more safely commit adultery, are in a hell under the buttocks, in the filthiest excrement; and are wasted until they become as bones, because they are among the deceitful. Such do not even know what conscience is. I have talked with them, and they were surprised that any one should have conscience and should say that adulteries are against conscience." (Heavenly Arcana, n. 827)

If that hell sounds bad, its about to get worse. Back in the 18th century Swedenborg began to see this hell increasing, especially from the Christian world:

"It is remarkable that those who were cruel in the life of the body were also, more than others, adulterers. Such are those who are in this hell. Unspeakable methods of cruelty are practised there. By their fantasies they make themselves vessels as for braying, like those used for braying herbs, and pestles, wherewith they bray and torture whomsoever they can; and also as it were broad axes, like those of executioners; and augers, with which they do cruel violence to one another; besides other dreadful things. Some of the Jews are there who in former times so cruelly treated the Gentiles. And at this day that hell is increasing, especially from those who come from the so called Christian world and have had all the enjoyment of their life in adulteries, who also are for the most part cruel. Sometimes their enjoyment is turned into the stench of human excrement, which exhales excessively when that hell is opened. I perceived it in the world of spirits, and at the time almost fell into a swoon from the effect of it. This noisome, excrementitious smell by turns fills the hell, and by turns ceases. It is their enjoyment from adulteries which is turned into such offensiveness. In process of time, when they have passed through a given period in such things, they are left alone and sit in torment, becoming like unsightly skeletons, but still living." (Heavenly Arcana, n. 824)

The hack of the web site exposed that 80-90% of the clients were men. The rest women. This means the women had the opportunity of many more encounters, and one confessed to a news site she had about 50 encounters, many of them with married men. What happens to women who engage in adultery? Here is one description:

"In the plane of the soles of the feet, at a considerable distance forward, is a hell which is called Gehenna, where are shameless women who have placed all their enjoyment in adulteries, and regarded adulteries as not only permissible but reputable, and who under various pretences of uprightness have allured the guileless and innocent to such things. A kind of fiery glow as it were appears there, such as overcasts the sky from a great conflagration; and it is attended with fiery heat, as it was given me to feel by the warmth from it on my face; and there is a stench exhaled therefrom, as from burning of bones and hair. Sometimes this hell is changed into dreadful serpents, which bite them; and then they long for death, but cannot die. Certain women released therefrom came to me and said there was a fiery heat there; and that when they are allowed to draw near to any society of good spirits the heat is changed to intense cold; and then burning heat and cold alternate with them, from one extreme to the other, and thereby they are miserably tormented. But yet they have their intervals during which they are in the heat of their fiery lust. But, as was said, their states vary." (Heavenly Arcana, n. 825)

A society in which marriage is disregarded and adultery is accepted, leads to shameless behavior and jealousy among women. Everyone begins to distrust the other.  See The Jealousy of Beauty among Women.  Physically attractive women tend to get ostracized from society.

One last passage, not exactly on adultery, but concerning men who entertain lustful and disrespectful thoughts concerning women:

"There are also boys, youths, and young men who from the folly and fierce desire of their age conceived abominable principles — as that wives, especially those who are young and beautiful, ought not to be for a husband, but for themselves and their like, the husband remaining only head of the household and educator of the children. These are distinguished in the other life by the boyish sound of their speech. They are behind at some height there. Those of them who have confirmed themselves in such principles, and in actual life conformable thereto, are grievously punished in the other life, by having their joints put out of place and back again, or twisted one way and the other, by spirits who can by their art induce upon them the fantasy of being in the body, and at the same time a bodily sense of pain. By these violent alternations, together with their struggles in resistance, they are so rent that they seem to themselves as if dismembered and torn to bits, with frightful pain; and this time after time, until struck with horror at such principles of life they cease to think in that way." (Heavenly Arcana, n. 829)

EXCEPTIONS TO THE CONDEMNATION OF ADULTERY

One thing I did not mention here, is that there are valid reasons why a married couple should divorce. Adultery is one of them.  And depending on the reason for the divorce, one can find a subsequent partner and experience true marriage love.

There are particular situations, where if infidelity is uncovered, it is still better to remain married for the sake of the children - a divorce would be too damaging to them. In these particular cases, especially if the man has discovered his wife to be unfaithful, separation of bed may be advisable while putting up the appearance of a continued marriage.  If this last several years, this is a special situation where it may be permissible for one to have a mistress, as long as the separation of bed is permanent.  While others may think this is adultery, its not - so not all are to be harshly judged if exposed.

Similar situations can arise if one's partner is mentally ill, or develops a physical illness, and cannot fulfill one's marital duties.  There are abusive partners where it is not really a marriage. So, everyone's case is different.  These situations are discussed in more detail in Swedenborg's work, Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love.  Not everything is black and white - there are spiritual laws of permission, where the lesser evil is chosen, to prevent one from falling into a worse state.

It is not good to keep infidelity hidden.  It is better to be honest with oneself, and honest with one's partner.  Don't let a hidden problem fester.  This kind of behavior tends to be addictive, and most avoid admitting fault and correcting it.  Better to do it now, than to be too late.

In all of this, remember one thing: Life is eternal. Stay with the one you truly love.

A DIALOGUE WITH AN ANGEL CONCERNING THE END OF THE CHRISTIAN CHURCH

If the sin of adultery is regarded as nothing, and marriages as nothing, it is a sign that the Christian church has come to its end.  I thought I would include this short dialogue Swedenborg had with an angel, who showed how religion and marriage love are directly related:

"Again I asked the angel:—"Why did you say that those who are there are spiritual and natural adulterers? Why not say evil doers and impious?"
He replied:—"Because all who regard adulteries as of no account, that is who believe from confirmation that they are not sins, and so do them of set purpose, are evil doers and impious in their heart. For the human conjugiale and religion go together at every step. Every advance, even every step from religion and in religion is also an advance and step from the conjugiale and in the conjugiale that is peculiar to the Christian man."
To the question;—"What is this conjugiale?" he said:—"It is the desire of living with one only wife. And it is in the Christian man according to his religion."
After these experiences I was grieved in spirit that marriages, which in the ancient ages were most holy, are so hopelessly changed into adulteries.
And the angel said:—"It is the same with religion at the present day; for the Lord says,—At the consummation of the age there shall be the abomination of desolation spoken of by Daniel. . . . And there shall be great affliction, such as hath not been from the beginning of the world" (Matt. xxiv. 15, 21). 'The abomination of desolation' signifies the falsification and deprivation of all truth; 'affliction' signifies the state of the church infested by evils and falsities; and 'the consummation of the age' of which these things are predicated, signifies the last time or end of the church. The end is now; because there is no truth left that is not falsified,—and falsification of truth is spiritual whoredom, which acts as one with natural whoredom, for they are closely connected." (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 81)

The Truth of Eternal Soul Mates and Twin Flames

Is there such a thing as soul mates, a couple destined to be together for eternity?  And how does one go about finding one's soul mate? In New Age thought, there is much discussion on soul mates, which are also commonly called "twin flames."  There are many curious people who want to know who ask this question.  And there are a lot of people who give very strange answers.  I took a look at those who say they have the answer: one was a psychic, another an astrologer, another a channeler, and they all talk so certain on these matters. Yet when one closely examines their teachings, they are in reality guessing themselves, or basing it on their own intuitions.  I was going to quote from them but their speeches quickly dive into the deep end, which is too bad, as some have interesting viewpoints.

So are there soul mates, or twin flames?  The short answer is yes, there are true eternal soul mates. Despite what others may have said on this, this phrase "twin flame" is not completely accurate. More accurately, the male is the light of the flame of the female, and the female is the flame of the light of the male. They cannot exist without each other, but together they make one. Separate them, the flame will go out as if it had lost its oxygen. But together they will burn brightly if united in soul, mind and body.

As explained in The Divine Origin of Marriage Love and Sex, males are forms of intellect, and females are forms of volition or the will.  Each individual person has these two aspects inside of them as the thought and the will. This two-fold division originates from the Divine Love and Divine Wisdom, the two primary aspects of God. Love seeks its truth and truth seeks its love, and together they make one in the act.  This is the hidden spiritual origin of the love of the other sex, for sex is the physical manifestation of this spiritual reality.

ETERNAL CONJUNCTION OF SOUL MATES

The revelations given to Emanuel Swedenborg in the 18th century go much further than explaining the spiritual difference between the male and female, and provide a definite answer to the existence of eternal soul mates in heaven. The following points were given in these heavenly visions:

1. The soul is created upon conception. Memories of past lives originate from shared spiritual memory.
2. Man has an internal body and an external body. The internal body lives after death.
3. Each soul is born as male or female, and will remain male or female to eternity.
4. Each individual person is highly valued, for each person is a microcosm of the universe, and God's plan is to have each person grow in happiness to eternity.

In his 27 years of visions of heaven and hell, Swedenborg saw many things concerning angels, and one of them was that the higher angels would choose a soul mate with whom they would dwell with to eternity. The male and female would become so closely conjoined, together they would form one angel, the male and female becoming the intellect and will of the angel respectively:

"Marriage in heaven is the conjunction of two into one mind. What this conjunction is shall be first explained. The mind consists of two parts, the one of which is called the understanding and the other the will. When these two parts make one, then they are called one mind. The husband then makes the part which is called the understanding, and the wife that which is called the will. When this conjunction, which is of the interiors, comes lower down into what is of their body, it is then perceived and felt as love, and this love is marriage love. From which it is plain that marriage love has its origin from the conjunction of two into one mind. This is called in heaven living together, and it is said that they are not two, but one, and so two consorts in heaven are not called two, but one angel." (Heaven and Hell, n. 367)

An angel of the third heaven told Swedenborg this:

"With us in the heavens, especially in the third heaven, our heavenly delights are chiefly from marriage love." (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 42)

Then, from Divine permission, Swedenborg was allowed to see a married angelic pair descend so that he could see them:

"And lo! a chariot then appeared descending from the highest or third heaven, in which an angel was seen; but as it approached two were seen in it. In the distance the chariot glittered like a diamond before my eyes. And young horses were harnessed to it, white as snow; and they who sat in the chariot held two turtle doves in their hands. ...And they said:—"We are a married pair. From the earliest age, called by you the golden age, we have lived happily in heaven; and always in the same flower of youth in which you see us today."
I observed them both attentively, for I perceived that they represented marriage love, in its life, and in its adornment; in its life in their faces, and in its adornment in their apparel. For all angels are affections of love in human form; their ruling affection itself shines forth from their faces. And from their affection and in harmony with it their garments are chosen. It is therefore said in heaven that his own affection clothes every one. The husband appeared to be at the age between manhood and youth. From his eyes beamed forth a light sparkling with the wisdom of love. His countenance was as if radiant from this light within, and by the irradiation from it the skin outwardly was as it were refulgent. Thence his whole face was one resplendent comeliness. He was clothed in a long robe that reached to the ankles, and under the robe a vestment of blue, and this was girded about with a golden girdle on which were three precious stones—two sapphires at the sides and in the middle a carbuncle. His stockings were of shining linen interwoven with threads of silver; and his shoes were entirely of silk. This was the representative form of marriage love with the husband.

And with the wife it was this:—I saw her face—and did not see it. I saw it as beauty itself, and did not see it because it was transcendent. For there was a splendour of flaming light in her countenance—such light as is with the angels of the third heaven—and it dimmed my sight, so that I was simply struck with amazement. Observing this she spoke to me saying:—
"What do you see?"
I answered:—"I see only marriage love and a form of it. But I see—and do not see."
At this she turned herself partly away from her husband, and then I could regard her more intently. Her eyes glistened with the light of their heaven—which as was said is flaming, and for the reason that it is derived from the love of wisdom. For in that heaven wives love their husbands from wisdom and in their wisdom; and husbands love their wives from and in that love towards themselves—and they are thus united. Hence her beauty!—which in its form was such as no painter could emulate and portray; for there is no such lustre in his colour, nor any such beauty expressible by his art. Her hair was gracefully arranged in correspondence with her beauty, and had flowers inserted in it like a coronet. She wore a necklace of carbuncles, and pendent from this a rosary of chrysolites; and she had bracelets of pearls. She was arrayed in a flowing robe of scarlet, and under this had a waistcoat of purple, clasped in front with rubies. But, which was a marvel to me, the colours varied according to her aspect towards her husband, and according to this they were now more now less brilliant—more when they were mutually turned towards each other, and less when they were partly turned from each other." (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 42)

And this is why it is more accurate to speak of a twin pair of flame and light, rather than twin flames, for the woman is the fire of love of wisdom in the man, and the man is the light of the woman's love. After marriage, this becomes inverted, internally man grows in his love, and the woman internally in her truth, for they each draw from the other part into each other.

HOW TO FIND OR RECOGNIZE A SOUL MATE?

First, it should be known that the Divine Love and Divine Wisdom flows into everything.  There can be no love without its truth, and no truth without its love. They will always work together to become one:

"Every affection has its mate as a partner; an affection of natural love has knowledge, an affection of spiritual love has intelligence, and an affection of heavenly love, wisdom; for affection without its mate as a partner is not any thing; for it is as esse [to be] without existere [to exist] and as substance without form, of which nothing can be predicated. Hence, within every created thing there is something which may be referred to the marriage of good and truth." (Angelic Wisdom concerning Divine Providence, n. 42)

Every form of love and truth has its own specific partner:

"There is no love without its partner, which is knowledge, intelligence, and wisdom. The partner of natural love is knowledge, of spiritual love is intelligence, and of celestial love is wisdom." (Apocalypse Revealed, n. 351)

As this law is universal, as a corollary one can conclude that married pairs will be born who are destined to eventually find each other, for those who desire it. And if one does not find it while on earth, one will find one in heaven. The following passage I found very interesting, as Swedenborg talks about this very briefly:

"That for those who desire true marriage love the Lord provides similitudes; and if they are not given on earth He provides them in the heavens.—The reason is that all marriages of true marriage love are provided by the Lord. ...And how they are provided in the heavens I have heard described by the angels, thus:—That the Divine Providence of the Lord concerning marriages and in marriages is most particular and most universal; because all the delights of heaven stream forth from the delights of marriage love, as sweet waters from the flow of a fountain. And therefore it is provided that marriage pairs be born, and that they be educated for their marriages immediately under the Lord's auspices—the boy and the girl not knowing it. And after the requisite time, she, the marriageable virgin, and he, the youth then ripe for marriage, somewhere meet as if by chance, see each other, and then instantly, as from a certain instinct, they know that they are mates, and as if from a kind of inward dictate they think within them, the youth, "She is mine," and the virgin, "He is mine." And after this thought has been seated for some time in the mind of each they deliberately speak, and betroth themselves. It is said, as if by chance, instinct, and dictate, though the meaning is, of the Divine Providence—because so long as it is unknown it thus appears; for the Lord opens their internal similitudes so that they may see each other." (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 229)

So finding a soul mate will happen as if by chance, but there is no such thing as chance. What we now call as "chance" or "accident" or "luck" all have a single cause, and that is Divine providence. Randomness is a modern invention to those who wish to have a world without a purpose. That it will seem to happen by chance, is shown from scripture when Abraham commanded his servant to find a wife for his son, and the servant finds Rebekah in a different land as if by chance.

From experience, those who have found their soul mate know immediately know within, and they will recognize each other by their face. One sign of a soul mate, is that the love will continually grow:

"With those who are in true marriage love the happiness of dwelling together increases; but with those who are not in marriage love it decreases.—The reason why the happiness of dwelling together increases with those who are in true marriage love is that they love each other mutually with every sense." (Angelic Wisdom concerning Marriage Love, n. 213)

And by grow, by that I mean they accept each other for who they are and not be judgmental, and on the other side of the coin, they learn to accept their faults and not deny them. For none of us are angels, we are in an eternal journey to become one.  It is an angelic characteristic to see what is good in the other person:

"Those who are in charity scarcely see another's evil, but observe all that is good and true in him, and put a good interpretation on what is evil and false. Of such disposition are all angels, which they have from the Lord, Who bends all evil to good." (Heavenly Arcana, n. 1079)